Here’s my Freudian Interview, courtesy of Allison. She gave me a list of questions and none of them were easy to answer!! I tried my best however, and it was fun to have a diversion at work. Here’s what Dr. Freud might have asked.
1. You are Queen Of The World for one day. As Queen, you have to order the beheading of one individual and the knighting of another. Who will they be and why?
Hmmmm. So many heads, so little time. This was a tough choice because the beheading option has sooooo many contenders, such as Bin Laden and North Korea President Kim Jong IL. After much consideration, I decided that First Class A$$hole terrrorist Osama Bin Laden is the big winner. I was going to post his photo, but he’s too despicable and a waste of time to look at.
Knighthood? My dad, of course. But being the practical girl that I am, I elevate President Barack Obama to knighthood. He needs our prayers.
Damn it’s good to be Queen of the World. Even if just for one day. 🙂
2. A genie appears and grants you a super power ability. Just one. Which will you choose and why?
What I would really want to have is the super power ability to have many super powers. Being able to fly, or be invisible, or even technopathic (the electrical/telekinetic ability to mentally interface with computer data). I think there’s a big demand for technopathic skills right now. No bailout for those crooked Wall Street moguls! But if I had to limit it to one (dammit you crackpot genie), it would be Telepathy. At least with telepathy, I will be able to know who’s trying to bullshit me. And if I can read minds I won’t have waste my time dealing with idiots and liars. But flying came in a close second. Can you imagine that???
But I won’t be going to those psychic conferences or The Celebrity Psychic Network.
3. You are able to resurect one individual from history who will remain at your side to guide you along life’s journey. Who will you resurrect and why?
Easy. Mother Teresa of Calcutta (1910-1997). She lived her life with unshakable faith, invincible hope and extraordinary charity. I could only aspire to follow in her footsteps, but living with her at my side would be an honor. What a woman! What an inspiration to us all.
It was also called Medieval, encompassing the 5th to 15th centuries in Western Europe. No doubt for most those times were often harsh, uncertain and dangerous. I would be wealthy and live on a profitable estate.
Of course, I would be the Annie Liebowitz of the 15th Century.
I would hear childhood stories about William the Conqueror, Richard the Lionheart and Edward III. I would have met and photographed William Wallace and Thomas Aquinos, Dante and Joan of Arc.
And after a month’s time I would return home to a long-awaited hot shower and watch American Idol that I recorded while away. I would order pizza delivery, click my heels together and chant “There’s no place like home.”
Then I’d get a book deal, a movie deal, and a manager. Those pictures will be worth millions.
5. The world is becoming overly crowded. It is your turn to decide which country gets sent to a different planet. Which one will you choose?
This required a little research. So the decision I made was based strictly on numbers. Currently, the two largest populated countries on earth are China (1,330,044,605) and India (1,147,995, 898).
Numbers don’t lie. At least that’s what my high school geometry teacher told me. If China and India blast off somewhere else, the rest of the world will have more time to get their collective acts together on a humanitarian, political, economic and ecological level. This would definitely reduce our carbon footprints. Just ask Al Gore. Like I said, it’s strictly about the numbers. And by the way, the United States of America comes in with the third largest world-wide population. Just missed the shuttle, folks.
There should also be room on the shuttle to also include: Michael Jackson, Paris Hilton, greedy over-paid bonus-bloated Wall Street millionaires, Axel Rose, Wayne Newton, Dr. Phil, Kim Jong (since I didn’t wack his head off when I was Queen), All of the Orange County Real Housewives, Rowan Atkinson, Carrot Top, Gary Busey and/or Jeff Conaway, Ann Coulter and Sarah Palin (they can sit together). And if you have any suggestions, add them to the list.
Remember this is STRICTLY VOLUNTARY for the good people listed above. And I’m not saying anybody should die. I’m assuming the planet they’re headed for is safe and you can breathe without a mask, and the cost of living there and transportation, etc is NOT TAKEN OUT OF MY TAX DOLLARS. The Wall Street dudes will pay for the elective rocket ship out of their slush funds before they drank the Kool-Aide.
Here are the rules for anyone else who wants to be interviewed:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview Me.”
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions.)
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.
HAVE FUN 🙂