Tag Archives: diversion

Hospital Antics


Is it too much to ask for a little diversion when undergoing a 6-hour infusion in the hospital?

Next Thursday I’ll have my first IVIG infusion.  Need get to the oncology/hematology department at the butt crack of dawn.   Hospital instructions included  a veritable cornucopia of random advice: bring a blanket/or jacket in case I get chilled; bring my own lunch and they’ll store it in their fridge; bring headphones if I want to watch the bedside TV; drink a lot of water before arriving so they can easily find a big fat vein to stick; wear socks.

The last thing I want to do is go to the hospital.  Under any circumstance.   Hospitals are full of doctors, nurses and patients.  Everybody washes their hands, right?.  Right.  The sick people infect the visitors.  The visitors subsequently get sick and wind up in the hospital.  It’s a vicious cycle.  In addition, my immune system is filled with deranged T-cells that can’t tell an antibody from an antigen.

Unfortunately for me, I can’t avoid the hospital this time.  I have lost pharmaceutical control over my immune system … translation … lots of money and time for lupus medication that did not work.   So I’m stuck, pardon the pun.  Ever the optimist that we can make lemons out of lemonade (pardon the slip), I decided to make a fun list of things to do while a needle is stuck in my arm for six hours.  In no particular order, here they are.

1.     Take cell phone pictures of the arm in question.  Send them to friends.  Or not.

2.     Zone out in the Happy Place part of the brain that copes with stress. Take drugs if that doesn’t help.

3.     Write blog entries

4.     Organize and moderate a patient panel to discuss healthcare reform.  Will keep you updated.  Or maybe take over the hospital.  “Death to the insurance carriers!!”

5.     Working with my jewelry kit, design and make bracelets.

6.     Call for pizza delivery because a cold boring sandwich is just a cold boring sandwich.

7.     Hire a stripper.  Or convince someone to do it for free.

8.     Learn to juggle with one hand.  Just don’t anybody sit too close or you’ll get bonked on the head.

9.     Read a book about coping with Lupus. Oops! I already threw it out the window last night.

As you can see, this list isn’t very long.  And yes, this list isn’t very good, either.  So send in your suggestions!  Drop me a line!