My Social Security Disability application was approved. I’ve been told that only 30% of first-time requests are granted disability payments. I’m obviously relieved and grateful to qualify for social security. My initial reaction to all this news was something like … “Great, I’m approved for disability!”; followed by … “Crap, I’m approved for disability!”
Millions of people live with an invisible illness, like lupus. Many have full-time jobs. I’ve had lupus since 1992 and worked until this spring. And that’s a weird situation for me. It is challenging to accept the realization that I have serious health issues. In my head and heart I’m the same person I was four months ago. I certainly look the same, except for a 30 pound weight loss. My laboratory studies, on the other hand, are seriously messed up. And every three weeks I’m in the hospital for immunoglobulin infusions because my doctor believes that aside from a very unlikely stem cell transplant, IVIG is my last treatment option. But to look at me, I’m just your typical middle aged white woman.
Regardless of what happens in our life, living with mixed blessings is part of the package. I’m lucky enough to qualify for social security. So many people are less fortunate and have to juggle unemployment, disability, and poverty. I’m one of the lucky ones that can afford health insurance and have a supportive family.
My life is certainly less stressful. I take care of most of the household chores and errand-running. My days are filled with tasks like folding laundry, watering the plants, making jewelry, preparing dinner, and writing this blog. I promised my sister that I would be her bitch around the house. So far, it’s working.
It would be wonderful if my lupus went into spontaneous remission. It would be wonderful if I had the stamina to work again. In the meantime, I’m counting my mixed blessings.