Last weekend I tossed a few things in a suitcase and drove the 93 mile trek to spend the weekend with my sister.
I could feel a January Funk coming on and wanted to shake it off. My choices were to just give in and let it happen or DO SOMETHING before I morph into the Funk. We went to the movies, and watched a few more at home. I caught up on some sleep. We went to church and drove around town a bit, ate in and ate out. I came back home on Sunday to do laundry and get ready for a busy work week. All in all, it was a very relaxing weekend.
Somehow, the Funk came anyway.
When I’m not feeling well mentally or physically, it’s hard to determine whether my problems are Lupus-related or something else. Maybe it’s my medicine causing goofy side effects. Or not. I’ve had a cold for the past 2 weeks and my immune system is not strong. I also have central nervous system involvement with Lupus that sometimes messes with cognitive skills … like feeling totally clueless at times, having trouble concentrating, depression, aphasia, etc. Most people have these issues from time to time too, so I never know if it’s me or Lupus.
January is cold and dreary. Heating bills are extra extra high in January. Spring seems a lifetime away in January. I’m homesick for my son in January. Plus, my hair is growing back and looks like I dropped acid and decided to cut it. My parents had birthdays in January and I miss them even more during that time. To top things off, the immunoglobulin infusion that was supposed to start in November is still in limbo with the insurance company and my doctor trying to reverse the denial. I really don’t want to go through a plasma exchange (which IS covered by insurance), but that would be the next step. I’ve had that whole scenario in the back of my mind for months and feel like a ticking time bomb, waiting for my crazed and confused immune system to go into another lupus flare-up.
Time will pass and things will get better … it usually does. But for now, today, I feel the Funk.