Christmas Chaos

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Yes, that is NOT my house!

that is so NOT my house!

There was a time when I had my house all decked out for Christmas by December 1st at the very latest.  Not this year, my friends.  I’ve managed to procrastinate the decorating process until ALMOST the very last minute.

The decision to not put up a full-size Christmas tree was very liberating.  I have lots of festive foo-foo.  Why schlep a tree into my house, go to all the time and effort to decorate it (by myself) and pray the cats don’t knock it over, drink the tree water and vomit all over the house, or attack and break the ornaments?  My home can be merry and bright without a tree.

Finally, after running out of extremely lame excuses (such as “I need to take a nap today”, “I have too much laundry to do”, or my favorite, “It’s too dark outside”) I went downstairs yesterday and brought up the big plastic bins of Christmas stuff.  And then took a nap.  After I woke up, after I ate dinner, and after I did 3 loads of laundry I eventually started putting up decorations, but I knew the cats were up to something.  Tigger had T.R.O.U.B.L.E. written all over his face.

cute but dangerous

cute but dangerous

While I was putting up the nativity scene, he was watching my every move.  And when the trees and figurines were in place just the way I wanted it …  Mary, Joseph, the Wise Men and the Shepard … he made his move.

Manger Massacre 2008

Manger Massacre 2008

That’s right, folks.  He took out the Shepard, Joseph, and one of the Wise Men.  Thank heaven Mary and the baby were spared.  Look at the stupid donkey laying down on the job!  And the other Wise Men standing there with their frankincense and mir looking like a bunch of idiots.  Freakin pacifists! What the hell is mir anyway?  And don’t tell me it’s a Russian space station!

Not to be outdone by his buddy, Charlie had his eye on the styrofoam box that held my favorite snow globe.

a sad case of styrofoam pica

a sad case of styrofoam pica

Chewing on styrofoam is almost as bad as fingernails on a blackboard, or chewing tin foil.  Just a few minutes after he ate a chunk of the corner, Charlie barfed it up all over my socks.  My only pair of Christmas socks.  Gross.

At this point, after Charlie barfed on me, he decided to sit IN the plastic Tub O’ Christmas Crap and take a nap laying on top the the Christmas tree skirt that my mom made me.  It’s really nice, once you brush all the cat fur off it.

planning a coup d'etat

planning a coup d'etat

Meanwhile, Tigger moved into the kitchen looking for something to do.

dumpster diving

dumpster diving

Aparently there was nothing of great interest inside the trash can they knocked over, and Charlie was in the process of looking for something to play with when I took the incriminating photo of Tig.  As I was putting the trash can back inside the cabinet, I heard a rustle of  god-only-knows-what in the living room.

cat toy stuck in tree

cat toy stuck in tree

At first I thought it was a dead mouse.  But it was only a strangled cat toy wrapped around a little tree that was knocked over by Charlie.

For the next hour or so, I tried to put things in some type of sensible arrangement.  Tig decided he liked the miniature lights on the trees and they were even more tasty when chewed on.  Charlie roamed around the entire house in search of more styrofoam.  After the holidays, I think he’s gonna need some kitty rehab.

Eventually I managed to wrap a few presents AFTER I gave each of the cats their own roll of ribbon to chew on so they would leave me alone.

I’ll leave you with a lovely photo of my ficus tree that I decorated with red and green lights.  The sad thing about this is I wasn’t ingesting any illicit or illegal substances.  I miss the good old days.

My Christmas Tree

My Christmas Tree

Merry Christmas!

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11 responses »

  1. Oh, man, those kitties are cute. My cat is a saint, she never touches anything, and she has taken to sleeping ounder the Christmas tree on the lovely new velvet skirt I bought for the tree.

    Maybe your kitty needs to come over and give my boys an etiquette lesson or two! 🙂

  2. Wow, sounds like our christmas last year with Elvis the Pig. This year I slacked off as well…I didn’t even put away the boxes until the day before yesterday..they were still sitting in the middle of the family room, very tacky! Oh well. Naps are much more important then decorating I think!

    Elvis the pig? That sounds like an interesting story! And you’re right about the naps 🙂

  3. I am laughing so hard my make up is running down my face. You, sister, are hysterical. Can’t wait to see what actually survived “the boys”.

    Maybe Dr. Drew would consider inpatient treatment at the PRC for Charlie’s styroform addiction.

    That’s a nice thought, Tigger and Charlie with Dr. Drew, Jeff and his crazy girlfriend!! 🙂

  4. Wow! What a great job with decorations. I wish my house looked like that. Sigh. About all I can manage these days is the tree in one corner and the presents all wrapped beneath. I call that Christmas. ha ha ha! Ahem.

    You know what, though? I don’t think all that crapola is needed in order to celebrate. At least for me, the real joy of Christmas is watching my 2 year old grandson opening presents and everyone making a mess of my house. The part I procrastinate about is the taking down bit. One year, I didn’t put away the Christmas stuff until March!

    Merry Christmas, hun!

    Same to you! And enjoy your family, especially that grandchild. They grow up so fast!

  5. My three kitty boys are trouble makers too. One of my cats actually knocks over all the Nativity figures and sleeps in the manger.

    Have a wonderful Christmas!!!

    You too! Enjoy 🙂

  6. ROFLMAO! Your cats are as much (or more, actually) trouble than mine are! Yikes. I love that last pic with the psychadelic lights! Woo-hoo. And what handsome cats you have, I might add. I’m glad to see it wasn’t boring! I hope you have a wonderful new year filled with love, laughter, good health and good fortune! 🙂

    Thanks Teeni! Yeah, those lights might wind up as my Christmas header for next year 😉

  7. Oh, my goodness, your cats are just like kids! The minute you finish cleaning up one mess you turn around and they’ve created another! That is so funny!

    I too, could not bring myself to get the tree up this year. The nativity, yes (same one as yours except I couldn’t find the wise men that came into the house via ebay last summer and are probably now somewhere in my basement, I’m so organized).

    I suppose one could argue the season is more about the nativity than the tree (what with the tree being a pagan symbol of the holiday). I managed to come up with a 2-foot fiber optic tree that I’d used several years ago as a table decoration when I was doing vendor fairs.

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