Roller Coaster Season


Get on the coaster cuz we're going up and down ... and up and down.

Last week, someone reminded me that we’re  just eight weeks away from Christmas.  Great.  Thanks.

Ever wish you could just quantum leap from Thanksgiving dessert to January?  For me, that time in between is Roller Coaster Season.  You know.  That time of the year when one minute you’re thrilled and the next minute you want to vomit?  Yes, I have expectations during Roller Coaster Season.  I want to hear Christmas carols and not cry.  I want to shop without being under the influence of prednisone. I want to be lupus symptom free.

Things start out normal enough beginning with Thanksgiving.  Yummy turkey, happy family and all the trimmings.  Next thing you know it’s time to deal with Christmas.  That’s when I get on the Coaster and brace myself while morphing into a crazy person.  My mood swings up and down and all over.  I could have a bad case of “Christmas Disappointment Syndrome” or the “Financial Ruin Virus”, or “If-That-Bell-Ringer-Smiles-At-Me-I’ll-Punch-Him-In-The-Face Disorder”, or “Too Tired To Care Disease”. or “Alone … Again Flu” or some yet-to-be-named Lupus complication.

Despite it all, I love being with my family during the holidays.  I enjoy wrapping gifts until 2:00 am on Christmas Eve.  Baking cookies can be therapeutic.  I try to show a little peace on earth with good will towards all throughout the year.  To look at me, you’d never see the turmoil inside.

And that, dear reader, is my biggest challenge.  Finding inner peace and balance during the month of December is a major physical and emotional drain.  Like I said … I have expectations.  I want my phone to ring.  I’d appreciate help decorating for the holidays.  I’d like to attend the holiday parties with a significant other.  Whaaa Whaaa Whaaa.  God bless my screwed up stream of consciousness … at least it’s predictable.  Yes, I acknowledge the abundance in my life.  Yes, I know nothing is perfect because I’m living proof.   I get it.  Really.

You better not shout.

You better not cry.

You better not pout.

I’m telling you why.

Roller Coaster Season is here.

Deal with it.


2 responses »

  1. Wow do I knowwhat you are talking about. Summer is really hard for me because of the sun. Then comes the holidays. The cool weather affects my joints, flu season happens, all the kids get sick so naturally so do I, I have so much to do i can’t keep up, I’m tired all the time but don’t want to let anyone down so I keep it all to myself and eventually spiral out of control…Lupus….what a great gift…it’s the gift that keeps on giving…

  2. Your account of December is so recognisable to anyone with lupus. For years I have not understood why other people seem to be able to shop for hours and still go home and bake.
    I hate wrapping presents it always leaves me with back ache. Every year I promise myself that I will wrap things as I get them, but then I forget what is in the present. Lupus makes Christmas interesting!!

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